It's been about 3 weeks.....

It's been about 3 weeks since I left my beloved home and ventured off to Toronto!

It all started on May 3rd...the sun wasn't up yet... woke up at 3... got things together.. and the hard part of saying good-bye to my parents... It's a good thing that we joke around because if they started to cry, I would've balled!!!

The plan was to leave at 4... of course that didn't happen... after all the hugs and pictures and last minute things to pack... my voiceless friend, April, and I finally left my house around 4:45am... before leaving.. it was only tradition that I go to McDonald's and get myself a Sausage McMuffin for the road!

April and I got to McD's in Southdale at 4:54am... we arrive at the drive through and ordered our breakfast.... the guy inside tells us that they aren't serving breakfast until 5am... like WTF.... it's 6mins to 5am.... they told us to go inside to order... I was not impressed.

We finally got our breakfast and officially left the city a lil after 5AM...

The adventure officially started... the drive was pretty scenic.... I gotta say, it was a nicer drive than going to BC.... Anyways, we told people that we drove straight.. but technically we didn't.. we stopped for gas, to eat, and to take pictures by roadside attractions.. or jus of stuff because we wanted to.. lol

(Pictures to be uploaded soon)

It took us, I should say.. it took ME.. a day and half to actually get to Toronto (actually to Jenalyn's place to pick up my keys). I was exhausted.. we only slept for 4 hours at Sault St. Marie at the Staples Parking lot.. lol... i was pretty impressed with myself that I drove for so long by myself... the longest I had ever driven was to New York for 12 hours last summer..

after having lunch with Jen.... April and I went to my place that's only 3mins drive from Jen's place. The place was alright.. for the amount that I was renting it out for.... It's good for now until I am able to afford something better. But the area is nice and my landlord is pretty cool... i'm not close to the subway.. but it's ok cuz i have my trusty Jeep! Gotta love my Liberty... brings Freedom to a new level!

so to keep from making this a really long blog... the few week to me seemed like I'm on vacation. April, Loina and Lloyd and some Peg City Boys(for a Bachelor party) were here and when I see faces from Winnipeg.. I feel like I haven't quite left Da Peg.. lol... I've tried to email my K-LEM girlz when I can, I've called my parents and my BFF...I've kept myself busy and surrounding myself with familiar things.. like working out, eating foods that I would normally eat at home.

I don't really miss Da Peg all that much... I miss my friends but especially eating lunch with my parents everyday and my purple bedroom. I really miss my house!

I know that I've made this decision to move here and to find opportunities to live the life that I need to experience. I just needed to do this to say that I actually tried.. will I succeed? will I find happiness? will I find all the answers I'm looking for? I can't answer any of these right now... but I know that I'm at a place that I should be right now (I have the deja vu's to prove it.. LOL).

So far so good.. but only 1 major thing to make this a whole lot easier.. and that's a job that I can enjoy.

I've had my stress moments and my frustrations with certain things.. but you gotta "bet your bottom dollar" that I'm not going down without a fight.

So it's late.. I gotta sleep... Good Night.. and tomorrow is always a new day!

Almost time....

Wow... I can't believe how fast time flew by this month. I honestly didn't think it would be so hard to say good-bye to people here. I don't know how many tears have fallen and how many laughs that have been shared but I do know how much I love everyone... I'll definately miss my B.F.F , My K-LEM girls, and my Royalz!

The past couple weeks have been the hardest for me. I felt the love from my co-workers of 9years. They are truly like a family to me and I will miss them, especially Dan! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't of lasted so long at Vita. You always made me laugh! You Rock and Thanks again to you and Shannon for the Greatest Gift EVER!!! It's been the one thing that constantly makes me smile! (i'll send pictures soon)

To my K*L*E*M girlz... remember to keep loving every moment... I hate you guys for making me cry so much, but I love you for making me laugh! Trust me, you'll never be replaced.... remember.. i mostly have guy friends out there!! hahaha

I don't know why I'm being so sappy...it's not like I'll never see you guys again. I guess its because its not until someone leaves that you realize how much you've
taken them for granted. I'll admit that I'm guilty of that too!!

But I gotta do what I gotta do, for myself and to prove something to myself. Its all about growing as a person and testing out your own limits.. gotta live life to the fullest.. and life is short. I gotta atleast be able to say that I've tried and did the best of my abilities. If you don't try, you'll never know you're own potential!

I gotta share a poem given to me by Jenalyn. As she has gone through the same as I have... this poem really helps....

There comes a time when you must stand alone.

You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.

You must be willing to make sacrifices.

You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.

Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.

There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.

Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.

Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.

Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.

Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.



I don't know where this Journey will lead me.... but only one way to find out... and if you keep reading my blogs.. you'll experience the whole ride with me!

I know they mean well.....

Ok.. where to begin?!?!? All I can say is that I've had my fair share of being patient with people but sometimes you just want to blow up in their faces and say "SHUT THE HELL UP! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING"!!! (Sorry for that.. I just had to get it off my chest.)

What am I talking about here?!?? I'm talking about people that find out about my decision and they offer their advice of what I should and shouldn't do. As the title of this blog reads... "I know they mean well"..... but sometimes I wish I get more "I'm excited for you and I know you will do well".. instead of telling me what to do like I'm a child!

I get disappointed with certain friends that even jokingly makes me feel bad for leaving. Ya, I get that it sucks that I won't see my friends on a regular basis anymore... but it's not like they'll never see me again. I will keep in touch!

Is it too hard to ask for a lil support and make this decision a lil less painful. Yes, I'm excited to leave and to start a fresh start and a new adventure... But that doesn't mean I'm not sad that I'm leaving my Parents that I love with all my being... that I'm not sad for leaving the best friends a person could ever ask for...that i'm not sad for leaving the only home I've ever known.... I may not put my true feelings out there for all to see.. but trust me, I feel all emotions.. sadness, fear, excitement, anxiety and more!

All I'm asking is to make this easy for me.. in my head, my heart, I know that this is the best for me for RIGHT NOW. I can't predict what the future has in store for me, but I can't just wait for it to happen anymore... i have to take action and take control of MY LIFE.

Again.... I'm sorry.. I tend to ramble on and on... I'm not directly aiming this blog to anyone... it's jus a tool for venting for all to see. You'll get to see the good, the bad and the ugly through this blog...

With that said.. i will sign off here... I'm a lil less annoyed and a lot more exhausted. Good Night and Tomorrow is another day....

Jus so you know....

So I realized after I posted my first blog entry that I jus dove into the world of blogging and not really explaining why I wanted to start one up.... The main reason I wanted to start a blog was for people to read about my upcoming adventure living in Toronto.

I honestly can't wait. I had wanted to move here when I was much younger and I know now that it would have been a huge mistake. I wasn't nearly as prepared as I am now. I've saved enough to get by until I'm settled down, I have a place to live (yes, on my own) but not too far from my dear friend and fellow "Royal", Jenalyn. It's gonna be great and I'm sure it'll be tough but it'll just make me stronger as a person.

I am surprised by the lack of support I am getting from some people. Atleast that's what it feels like. Some people have been great and happy for me and other people are like "Why the hell are you going? Are you stupid?" ... ok.. that's not a direct quote from anyone but they might as well have said it. The vibe that I'm getting from some people is that they don't believe I can make it there.. or "ready". If they knew me, they would know that I'm the type of person that thoroughly thinks things through and plans things out. I have backup plans to my backup plans. Financially, I believe I've saved enough money. I've been pretty good with budgeting and my finance after being debtless for over a year.

People think I'll be gone forever...I'm not dying people!! LOL... I've never ever told people that I'm gone for good... I don't know what will become of me in the future. If it doesn't work out, my home will always be Peg City. The point of this move is not because I hate the city (not like most Peg City sellouts) It's just something I need to do for myself. I need to be more independant, I need to be accountable for all my actions and decisions, I need to be me in a city that won't judge and watch my every actions. This is for me and no other reason. (Sorry, that was just a lil vent session I had to get out... LOL)

OK.. i'm rambling on and my readers have probably fallen asleep.. LOL... so this is it for now... until next time....

In 19 Dayz......

In 19 Dayz I will be on my way to a different life.
In 19 Dayz, I will feel sad, happy and scared at the same time.
In 19 Dayz, I will be leaving the home I've loved and leaving the people I love the most.
In 19 Dayz, I will be ending a chapter and starting fresh in a new one.

People have asked me "why?" How can I even explain? It's jus something I HAVE to do.

I NEED the change... I need to do this for me. For me it's the right time and I know I will have no regrets. No matter what, this is what's best for me.

If you would've asked me 11 years ago if I would consider leaving this city, I would've said " Hell No". I hated change and I honestly love Peg City. As years past, my life has been the same. Literally, THE SAME. As I watch friends move, settle down, getting married and having children.. it has made me realize that staying here will not get me where I want to be. From once hating change, to NEEDING change... only proves that the older you get... your thoughts and beliefs eventually change to.

In 19 Dayz, I will begin to find my true self.
In 19 Dayz, I will truly be independant.
In 19 Dayz, I will be free from my mistakes, my past, my regrets.

In 19 Dayz............. to be continued.....