So it's December 30th...close to the end of 2010 and I've learned a lot and grown a lot in this past year. I've made tough decisions and had huge headaches over issues that doesn't seem like a big deal now.
I had to delete my last post on here as it was silly and what I thought I was feeling was not true... If you happen to have read it, it was about thinking about a certain someone. Well, what i felt was nothing more than my loneliness talking. I made myself believe of a life that I thought i wanted.... I was wrong. I want to say a quick apology to SP. One day, I'll explain myself.
As for the past couple months.... I've been happy and i mean truly HAPPY. A lot of good things has happened to me lately and I gotta say, it's the best ending for a year that I can't say was my best. I say that with a light heart only because, even though the year didn't turn out quite the way i want it to go.. it was an adventure and great learning experience for me. I've grown in ways I didn't think was possible and changing the way I think about life, love and happiness has really turned around for me.
It's amazing how one person can make you change your outlook on life and that there aren't a bunch of jerks out there. I need to surround myself with more people that are Real and true to themselves. I am very fortunate with the friends and family that I have and wouldn't trade them for the world.
I look back at the last decade and more bad memories stick out than good. I've learned to bounce back up from these experience and tried to make the most of it. I look forward to the new decade, if its anything like the last couple months.. I say, BRING IT! But lets take it slow and see what the New Year will bring!
Good-bye 2010.... Hello 2011!
Have a safe and Happy New Year!!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
My New Addiction!
So I have a new addiction! Something that occupies my time and finally something that jumpstarts my creativity! It's the wonderful world of photography. I'm still a newbie in all of this, I have only had my camera for a few days! So here are some samples of what I've done. Hope you enjoy! (Keep in mind that I haven't gone to school for this or had any training) FYI: I've had to reduce the size of these pictures as they were huge files... Hope you can still see what I see...
So what do you think???
Thursday, August 26, 2010
BRAMA - (Boy Drama) # 1
So I've procrastinated on blogging about my "Brama" since I've moved here....
Where should I start?? To keep names out of this, I'll obvious change them to nicknames that I've found amusing!
So we'll start with "Creepy Guy"... so I met this guy and I thought we'd hit it off. We went on a date.. we talked for about 5 hours and drinking and ended up dancing afterwards... the date went fine.. there was no kissing or anything like that afterwards as I really wanted to take things slow. The date seemed promising until THE NEXT DAY. When they say a guy shouldn't call a girl for atleast 3 days after the date, I think they're absolutely right... What I'm about to tell you would probably creep you out or maybe it's jus me...
So the "next day" phone call was like this... I was in the middle of watching the NBA Finals.. I believe it was the 5th game in the Lakers/Boston series. I was sitting on the couch watching the game when Creepy Guy calls.. I thought he would understand that I'm watching the game and i wasn't concentrating on the conversation. He thought it was endearing how much i was into the game and kept commenting on the game as if we were watching it "together". So he wouldn't let me go and once the game ended.. i told him to call me back when I got back to my place... He did exactly that...
So the conversation continues... had i only of known what was to become of this conversation... i would've told me to call me the next morning! So he's asking me questions, which is understandable since we've jus met but I got easily annoyed when he kept saying "CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?". He literally asked that before every question he asked me!!! So i bit my tongue and told him that he doesn't have to ask if he can ask me a question and to simple ask THE question!
So he asked me... "Do you want to be with me?" "Do you want to get with me?" "Are you looking for a husband?" "If my brother had a bbq, would you go?" "Do you want to go on a trip with me?" and it went on and on...
Like WHOA.... slow down!!! I kept thinking to myself that I JUST went out with this guy YESTERDAY! and I'm suppose to know all the answers to that. Plus, get this, so by the power of the internet.. we save each other on FB.. and you can see mutual friends.. so we had about 5 mutual friends.. no big surprise.. I had mentioned to him that I was suppose to meet up with one of them .. i had asked him on the date if he was the jealous type as i have lots of guy friends.. he said No and that he has a lot of girl friends. "Perfect" i thought.. but it was all talk. When i mentioned this one person that I was suppose to hang out with.. he pretty much told me that he didn't want me to see him..
WTF??? We're not "together".. he can't tell me who i can and can not hangout with! I explained to him that we were jus friends and if something were to happen.. it would've happened already.. but nothing ever did. Besides the friend I was going to meet up with, is getting married! Creepy Guy thought that was worse.. that because he's engaged that I really shouldn't be hanging out with this guy. Watevz!!!
So anyways, my parents were visiting the following week after the first date. Creepy Guy said that he would go with me to pick them up.. I'm like HELL NO! for one thing I didn't want my parents to think i moved to Toronto for a guy. AND... i didn't have that good vibe with him to have him meet my parents right away. I made the excuse that I wanted my parents to myself... and that it would jus be a bad idea for him to meet my parents cuz then my parents will give me the third degree talk.. and I couldn't handle that.
So once my parents left... I thought that maybe I was a lil harsh on Creepy Guy and thought to give him another shot.. so i decided to hang out with him one more time jus to make sure that I'm not being stupid and guarded. So we watched the last Game of the NBA Finals and it was a disaster of a night.. for one Boston Lost!!! #2.. Creepy Guy annoyed the eff out of me on the ride home. He didn't have a car.. so I drove him home.. and sure enough.. the questions started flooding.. "Can I ask you a question?""Can I ask you a question?""Can I ask you a question?" OH EM GEE! I wanted to rip my head of and throw it onto on coming traffic on the highway! Yes, it was that bad.
Needless to say.... Creepy Guy is no longer in my life... too bad cuz on paper he was everything I thought i wanted.. he was filipino, tall, plays basketball, athletic, outgoing, can dance, kareoke's... etc etc.. but I now know that personality plays a big part in the whole dating scene. You can have the same interests as I do.. but there has to be that Connection.. which obviously, he and I didn't have.
So on to the next... but it'll have to be continued on a later entry.. oh yes, there's more Brama to come... Stay tuned!
Where should I start?? To keep names out of this, I'll obvious change them to nicknames that I've found amusing!
So we'll start with "Creepy Guy"... so I met this guy and I thought we'd hit it off. We went on a date.. we talked for about 5 hours and drinking and ended up dancing afterwards... the date went fine.. there was no kissing or anything like that afterwards as I really wanted to take things slow. The date seemed promising until THE NEXT DAY. When they say a guy shouldn't call a girl for atleast 3 days after the date, I think they're absolutely right... What I'm about to tell you would probably creep you out or maybe it's jus me...
So the "next day" phone call was like this... I was in the middle of watching the NBA Finals.. I believe it was the 5th game in the Lakers/Boston series. I was sitting on the couch watching the game when Creepy Guy calls.. I thought he would understand that I'm watching the game and i wasn't concentrating on the conversation. He thought it was endearing how much i was into the game and kept commenting on the game as if we were watching it "together". So he wouldn't let me go and once the game ended.. i told him to call me back when I got back to my place... He did exactly that...
So the conversation continues... had i only of known what was to become of this conversation... i would've told me to call me the next morning! So he's asking me questions, which is understandable since we've jus met but I got easily annoyed when he kept saying "CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?". He literally asked that before every question he asked me!!! So i bit my tongue and told him that he doesn't have to ask if he can ask me a question and to simple ask THE question!
So he asked me... "Do you want to be with me?" "Do you want to get with me?" "Are you looking for a husband?" "If my brother had a bbq, would you go?" "Do you want to go on a trip with me?" and it went on and on...
Like WHOA.... slow down!!! I kept thinking to myself that I JUST went out with this guy YESTERDAY! and I'm suppose to know all the answers to that. Plus, get this, so by the power of the internet.. we save each other on FB.. and you can see mutual friends.. so we had about 5 mutual friends.. no big surprise.. I had mentioned to him that I was suppose to meet up with one of them .. i had asked him on the date if he was the jealous type as i have lots of guy friends.. he said No and that he has a lot of girl friends. "Perfect" i thought.. but it was all talk. When i mentioned this one person that I was suppose to hang out with.. he pretty much told me that he didn't want me to see him..
WTF??? We're not "together".. he can't tell me who i can and can not hangout with! I explained to him that we were jus friends and if something were to happen.. it would've happened already.. but nothing ever did. Besides the friend I was going to meet up with, is getting married! Creepy Guy thought that was worse.. that because he's engaged that I really shouldn't be hanging out with this guy. Watevz!!!
So anyways, my parents were visiting the following week after the first date. Creepy Guy said that he would go with me to pick them up.. I'm like HELL NO! for one thing I didn't want my parents to think i moved to Toronto for a guy. AND... i didn't have that good vibe with him to have him meet my parents right away. I made the excuse that I wanted my parents to myself... and that it would jus be a bad idea for him to meet my parents cuz then my parents will give me the third degree talk.. and I couldn't handle that.
So once my parents left... I thought that maybe I was a lil harsh on Creepy Guy and thought to give him another shot.. so i decided to hang out with him one more time jus to make sure that I'm not being stupid and guarded. So we watched the last Game of the NBA Finals and it was a disaster of a night.. for one Boston Lost!!! #2.. Creepy Guy annoyed the eff out of me on the ride home. He didn't have a car.. so I drove him home.. and sure enough.. the questions started flooding.. "Can I ask you a question?""Can I ask you a question?""Can I ask you a question?" OH EM GEE! I wanted to rip my head of and throw it onto on coming traffic on the highway! Yes, it was that bad.
Needless to say.... Creepy Guy is no longer in my life... too bad cuz on paper he was everything I thought i wanted.. he was filipino, tall, plays basketball, athletic, outgoing, can dance, kareoke's... etc etc.. but I now know that personality plays a big part in the whole dating scene. You can have the same interests as I do.. but there has to be that Connection.. which obviously, he and I didn't have.
So on to the next... but it'll have to be continued on a later entry.. oh yes, there's more Brama to come... Stay tuned!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Home is where the Heart is.....
So as I'm sitting on my bed at 12:22am on August 20, 2010.. I have the sound stuck in my head of the infamous Doogie Howser song that's played while he was typing on his computer! (Classic!!)... Anyways, on to the topic at hand....
Have you ever gone to a place for vacation and thought to yourself that you could live in that city and it never crosses your mind that the life you preceived in your mind won't turn out that way? Well, I gotta say.. "REALITY BITES".
Everyone I'm sure would like to bash the city that they grew up in and tell you all the negative things about their home town ( <----keyword)and will try to convince everyone and themselves that moving out of this "hell hole" of a city is the best thing to do. It may ring true for some people.. and moving was the best thing they ever did... but I believe that maybe it's only because they didn't have the best foundation.
Why do people say "Home Town"... because really.. that's where they belong!! The people that say "the place I grew up", or "I was born and raised" in that city.. are the ones that may not feel that they ever belonged there to begin with.
Some people may think that moving away from the city that you grew up in is not being adventurous but being a coward. Most often than not, people move to another city to forget about their past or "running away from their problems".
The common reasons for a move (in no particular order)
1. A change of Scenery
2. To get away from a bad breakup
3. To start a new relationship
4. To seek new opportunities
5. To seek a different kind of life
6. saying that they are bored and "just need a change"
7. becuase they simply hate the city.
I'm sure there are many more reasons, but these are the ones that are most common to me and what I hear.
Now you may ask.. what was MY reasons... It was #1, 4, 5, and 6....What I didn't realize in the whole idea of a new life was what exactly i was giving up. I picked up and left everything..... friends, family, stability and most of all my happiness. If you've known me long enough you would know that I never liked changed. I always wanted things to stay the same... and to be honest.. I made my life constant and stuck on "Pause".. at the same time everyone's lives around me was on fast forward...
People were getting married, having kids, buying their first home, etc. etc... while I was pretty much stuck in a life that was pretty much the same since 2001. So the decision to do something drastic was called for.... and Drastic it was!!!
I left to go to a city that had ZERO family, a couple handful of friends, and a place that a single girl can easily get broke. Sure Toronto has more sites, more culture, more places to eat.... but is it all enough to call this place "HOME"?
Sometimes I find it hard to say "I'm going home", when referring to my basement apartment....it's not my home... sometimes i force myself to remember to say "i'm going to my place".....This is not my home... my home is jus West of here in a lil place called Peg City! I am and forever be a Peg City girl!
I never once said that I hated living in Winnipeg.... i may have been bored or lash out at the city because of my boredom and maybe my problems.... but i had forgotten that since Peg City was a really cheap place to live.. i got to travel more and more... but always return to the place that I belonged to... HOME!
So now what is one to do when you are living in a place you can't call home? What would YOU do? Would you sacrifice your happiness for pride? Or would you go back to where you belong and know that the experience has made you more self-aware? Or would you stick it out in misery, hoping that maybe things will "get better"?
Life gives you so many twists and turns. life decisions are tricky and we never know until its too late if we made the best choice... How is one to know what the right decision is? Someone once said to me...you can't tell a person what not to do because you've been there or experienced it before, that person will probably still make the mistake even having heard your warning because they won't believe it until they make the very same mistake and learn from it themselves.
i think every bad decision, something good does come out of it or there is a brighter side to what happened. (or possibly a good reason or lesson to be learned) we jus have to see the bigger picture...
So now the only question now.. is what's going to be my next bad decision.. and I think it's coming up sooner than later..... Stay tuned...(spoiler alert...)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
On the way to Better Dayz!
OH HAPPY DAY!!! Now that I finally have my baby (my Jeep) back... I am feeling 200% better. I can only hope that I don't have any more stresses for a long time!!
No one can understand how much I needed to have my Jeep back. It's not for the convenience of driving to many place.. but She was my first car and holds a lot of dear memories for me. From driving across the country to BC and back, to Minnie, and Chicago and safely getting me to Toronto... All these trips have given me so many memories. But there is one lil reason why she means so much to me... I can't even say in Blog... LOL
I know I got really stressed over the money situation... but i should be ok.... thank goodness I know how to manage my money and budgeting. I'm jus so happy that I have my car.. and now i got food in my fridge.. maybe i can finally get a good night sleep... I just feel like sleeping in my car tonight! hehehe
Soon I'll be seeing some familiar faces, the long weekend will be here, and in 11 days I get to see some of my family!!! I can't wait!!
I can only pray that things will be going Up and up from now on!
All i gotta say is that from this whole thing.. I learned a few things about myself, the people around me, my faith in God, my personal patience, my breaking point and my strength!! Things do happen for a reason.. and although i don't have the answers to everything.. i have a pretty good idea of how to live my life... I have questions and someday i will get answers.
I have a dream.. and one day that dream will come true! One day, One day!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Good Dayz and Bad Dayz
It's been awhile since I've been able to write on here. It's been a roller coaster ride this month.
I've had the stresses of dealing with guy drama earlier this month. All to be explained in another blog (stay tuned). Then my parents visited and that was great. It brought my spirits up. We had a blast and I've almost didn't realize how much I've missed them. We went to the CN Tower, Niagara Falls, the Rogers Centre, Harbourfront, Spadina, even Pac Mall! it was so much fun, I didn't want them to leave!
After they left, so many things happened.
I experienced my First Earthquake on June 23, 2010. It was the weirdest experience. Of course never having to feel an earthquake in Winnipeg... I wasn't sure what was going on. You felt the building shake for a moment, and your mind plays tricks on you cuz you think it's your imagination. Then you get the Facebook status updates that people in the City felt the shake too... then you knew it was something different. The Earthquake was a magnitude of 5.5 and started North of Ottawa.
Apparently, Toronto has not felt an Earthquake before and I was "lucky" enough to experience it!!! Well, the Earthquake wasn't strong enough to make much damage. It freaked out more people than anything. Check out the link below:
It was crazy but I'm happy that it wasn't a tragic experience!
After that.. i had the worst luck in the world.... the next day.. i was on my computer and I accidently dropped my external hard drive... i really thought that it didn't fall that hard and that my stuff had broken its fall...no such luck... my External stopped working..and making funky clicking noises.. and that was it.. it was toast.. I was PISSED!!! I decided to let out some frustration and go to the gym.. I worked out for like 2 hours... and tried out a new work out courtesy of Mr. Jay Arr Raymundo (thanks bud).. and it totally kicked my butt... I felt better after the workout..
The Day was nice outside.. so I decided to get a salad at McD's... and then the worst thing that could happen to me was my Jeep Liberty wouldn't run!! WTF!!! I was so mad and frustrated and I literally started crying for the crappy day that I was having. Not only did it suck for my car to stop running.. but I had an Interview the next morning! I got the car Towed... got it sent to Canadian tire..and now waiting to get it back.... yes.. Its Monday.. and it's been there since Last Thursday and I still haven't got my car back!!! The mechanics here SUCK ASS!!! I don't like the idea of how much it's going to cost to get my car back... but i love my car that I jus don't care at this point. I jus want it back!
Friday was a better day! I got the Job and finally thing seemed to be getting better! I was excited and it was good timing because of the cost of my car repairs!
Now the plan (once i get my car back) is to find a new place to live. My apartment now.. is ok.. but could be A LOT better. I'm looking forward to finding a better place. Once that's done... then my world will be where it should be. I can get back to a "normal" life.
I cant wait until JUNE is over!! LOL... it was one month that I'm glad it's almost done! Please let me me have a better month in JULY!! Please!!
NEXT BLOG.... Guy Drama.. stay tuned....
I've had the stresses of dealing with guy drama earlier this month. All to be explained in another blog (stay tuned). Then my parents visited and that was great. It brought my spirits up. We had a blast and I've almost didn't realize how much I've missed them. We went to the CN Tower, Niagara Falls, the Rogers Centre, Harbourfront, Spadina, even Pac Mall! it was so much fun, I didn't want them to leave!
After they left, so many things happened.
I experienced my First Earthquake on June 23, 2010. It was the weirdest experience. Of course never having to feel an earthquake in Winnipeg... I wasn't sure what was going on. You felt the building shake for a moment, and your mind plays tricks on you cuz you think it's your imagination. Then you get the Facebook status updates that people in the City felt the shake too... then you knew it was something different. The Earthquake was a magnitude of 5.5 and started North of Ottawa.
Apparently, Toronto has not felt an Earthquake before and I was "lucky" enough to experience it!!! Well, the Earthquake wasn't strong enough to make much damage. It freaked out more people than anything. Check out the link below:
It was crazy but I'm happy that it wasn't a tragic experience!
After that.. i had the worst luck in the world.... the next day.. i was on my computer and I accidently dropped my external hard drive... i really thought that it didn't fall that hard and that my stuff had broken its fall...no such luck... my External stopped working..and making funky clicking noises.. and that was it.. it was toast.. I was PISSED!!! I decided to let out some frustration and go to the gym.. I worked out for like 2 hours... and tried out a new work out courtesy of Mr. Jay Arr Raymundo (thanks bud).. and it totally kicked my butt... I felt better after the workout..
The Day was nice outside.. so I decided to get a salad at McD's... and then the worst thing that could happen to me was my Jeep Liberty wouldn't run!! WTF!!! I was so mad and frustrated and I literally started crying for the crappy day that I was having. Not only did it suck for my car to stop running.. but I had an Interview the next morning! I got the car Towed... got it sent to Canadian tire..and now waiting to get it back.... yes.. Its Monday.. and it's been there since Last Thursday and I still haven't got my car back!!! The mechanics here SUCK ASS!!! I don't like the idea of how much it's going to cost to get my car back... but i love my car that I jus don't care at this point. I jus want it back!
Friday was a better day! I got the Job and finally thing seemed to be getting better! I was excited and it was good timing because of the cost of my car repairs!
Now the plan (once i get my car back) is to find a new place to live. My apartment now.. is ok.. but could be A LOT better. I'm looking forward to finding a better place. Once that's done... then my world will be where it should be. I can get back to a "normal" life.
I cant wait until JUNE is over!! LOL... it was one month that I'm glad it's almost done! Please let me me have a better month in JULY!! Please!!
NEXT BLOG.... Guy Drama.. stay tuned....
Monday, June 7, 2010
Define "SINGLE"
According to Dictionary.com the definition of "Single" can be defined as...
(I've only selected a few)
sin·gle /ˈsɪŋgəl/ Show Spelled [sing-guhl] Show IPA adjective, verb,-gled, -gling, noun
–adjective
1. only one in number; one only; unique;
2. unmarried
Noun
3. one person or thing; a single one.
Now having defined the word... everyone would see me and the 2nd definition to go hand in hand... Yes, it's true.. I'm unmarried but after having such a dramatic outlook of the word "Single".. personally, the first definition would best suite me. I am only one in number and unique.
Single to me, used to mean that I was alone. That I didn't have anyone to share my life with... now it no longer means that I am alone... the reality of it all is that I'm not truly alone. I'm surrounded by loving friends and family... who have shared my life with me and God watching over me.
For Generations, life was defined as going through certain stages.. going to school, graduating highschool/post secondary school, then finding a job, getting married, having kids, buying a house, and retiring. Life these days sometimes doesn't go in that order anymore but it's expected of us. When we go out of order or we live life unconventionally, people may judge and feel like this life is wrong. Who's to say what the right way to live life??
My greatest fear was to be alone. I know now, that I'll never be alone. I learned that the hard way.
Being "single" as defined as not being in a romantic relationship does not bother me anymore. I always thought being alone was a curse, but on the contrary, it was a blessing. I've learned to depend on myself, be independant, be more focus on the needs and wants for myself and not have it decided for me. My life is what it is and its under no one else's terms but my own.
I have a plan and yes it's unconventional, but it's MY life! I already know what I want and how to get it. I fully understand what to do with my life and how to live it.
If someone asks me if I'm single.. I'll proudly say "I am"... I'm ONLY one .. One in a Million.... and that's all it'll ever mean to me.
(I've only selected a few)
sin·gle /ˈsɪŋgəl/ Show Spelled [sing-guhl] Show IPA adjective, verb,-gled, -gling, noun
–adjective
1. only one in number; one only; unique;
2. unmarried
Noun
3. one person or thing; a single one.
Now having defined the word... everyone would see me and the 2nd definition to go hand in hand... Yes, it's true.. I'm unmarried but after having such a dramatic outlook of the word "Single".. personally, the first definition would best suite me. I am only one in number and unique.
Single to me, used to mean that I was alone. That I didn't have anyone to share my life with... now it no longer means that I am alone... the reality of it all is that I'm not truly alone. I'm surrounded by loving friends and family... who have shared my life with me and God watching over me.
For Generations, life was defined as going through certain stages.. going to school, graduating highschool/post secondary school, then finding a job, getting married, having kids, buying a house, and retiring. Life these days sometimes doesn't go in that order anymore but it's expected of us. When we go out of order or we live life unconventionally, people may judge and feel like this life is wrong. Who's to say what the right way to live life??
My greatest fear was to be alone. I know now, that I'll never be alone. I learned that the hard way.
Being "single" as defined as not being in a romantic relationship does not bother me anymore. I always thought being alone was a curse, but on the contrary, it was a blessing. I've learned to depend on myself, be independant, be more focus on the needs and wants for myself and not have it decided for me. My life is what it is and its under no one else's terms but my own.
I have a plan and yes it's unconventional, but it's MY life! I already know what I want and how to get it. I fully understand what to do with my life and how to live it.
If someone asks me if I'm single.. I'll proudly say "I am"... I'm ONLY one .. One in a Million.... and that's all it'll ever mean to me.
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