Home is where the Heart is.....

So as I'm sitting on my bed at 12:22am on August 20, 2010.. I have the sound stuck in my head of the infamous Doogie Howser song that's played while he was typing on his computer! (Classic!!)... Anyways, on to the topic at hand....

Have you ever gone to a place for vacation and thought to yourself that you could live in that city and it never crosses your mind that the life you preceived in your mind won't turn out that way? Well, I gotta say.. "REALITY BITES".

Everyone I'm sure would like to bash the city that they grew up in and tell you all the negative things about their home town ( <----keyword)and will try to convince everyone and themselves that moving out of this "hell hole" of a city is the best thing to do. It may ring true for some people.. and moving was the best thing they ever did... but I believe that maybe it's only because they didn't have the best foundation.

Why do people say "Home Town"... because really.. that's where they belong!! The people that say "the place I grew up", or "I was born and raised" in that city.. are the ones that may not feel that they ever belonged there to begin with.

Some people may think that moving away from the city that you grew up in is not being adventurous but being a coward. Most often than not, people move to another city to forget about their past or "running away from their problems".

The common reasons for a move (in no particular order)

1. A change of Scenery
2. To get away from a bad breakup
3. To start a new relationship
4. To seek new opportunities
5. To seek a different kind of life
6. saying that they are bored and "just need a change"
7. becuase they simply hate the city.

I'm sure there are many more reasons, but these are the ones that are most common to me and what I hear.

Now you may ask.. what was MY reasons... It was #1, 4, 5, and 6....What I didn't realize in the whole idea of a new life was what exactly i was giving up. I picked up and left everything..... friends, family, stability and most of all my happiness. If you've known me long enough you would know that I never liked changed. I always wanted things to stay the same... and to be honest.. I made my life constant and stuck on "Pause".. at the same time everyone's lives around me was on fast forward...

People were getting married, having kids, buying their first home, etc. etc... while I was pretty much stuck in a life that was pretty much the same since 2001. So the decision to do something drastic was called for.... and Drastic it was!!!

I left to go to a city that had ZERO family, a couple handful of friends, and a place that a single girl can easily get broke. Sure Toronto has more sites, more culture, more places to eat.... but is it all enough to call this place "HOME"?

Sometimes I find it hard to say "I'm going home", when referring to my basement apartment....it's not my home... sometimes i force myself to remember to say "i'm going to my place".....This is not my home... my home is jus West of here in a lil place called Peg City! I am and forever be a Peg City girl!

I never once said that I hated living in Winnipeg.... i may have been bored or lash out at the city because of my boredom and maybe my problems.... but i had forgotten that since Peg City was a really cheap place to live.. i got to travel more and more... but always return to the place that I belonged to... HOME!

So now what is one to do when you are living in a place you can't call home? What would YOU do? Would you sacrifice your happiness for pride? Or would you go back to where you belong and know that the experience has made you more self-aware? Or would you stick it out in misery, hoping that maybe things will "get better"?

Life gives you so many twists and turns. life decisions are tricky and we never know until its too late if we made the best choice... How is one to know what the right decision is? Someone once said to me...you can't tell a person what not to do because you've been there or experienced it before, that person will probably still make the mistake even having heard your warning because they won't believe it until they make the very same mistake and learn from it themselves.

i think every bad decision, something good does come out of it or there is a brighter side to what happened. (or possibly a good reason or lesson to be learned) we jus have to see the bigger picture...


So now the only question now.. is what's going to be my next bad decision.. and I think it's coming up sooner than later..... Stay tuned...(spoiler alert...)