It's been awhile since I've been able to write on here. It's been a roller coaster ride this month.
I've had the stresses of dealing with guy drama earlier this month. All to be explained in another blog (stay tuned). Then my parents visited and that was great. It brought my spirits up. We had a blast and I've almost didn't realize how much I've missed them. We went to the CN Tower, Niagara Falls, the Rogers Centre, Harbourfront, Spadina, even Pac Mall! it was so much fun, I didn't want them to leave!
After they left, so many things happened.
I experienced my First Earthquake on June 23, 2010. It was the weirdest experience. Of course never having to feel an earthquake in Winnipeg... I wasn't sure what was going on. You felt the building shake for a moment, and your mind plays tricks on you cuz you think it's your imagination. Then you get the Facebook status updates that people in the City felt the shake too... then you knew it was something different. The Earthquake was a magnitude of 5.5 and started North of Ottawa.
Apparently, Toronto has not felt an Earthquake before and I was "lucky" enough to experience it!!! Well, the Earthquake wasn't strong enough to make much damage. It freaked out more people than anything. Check out the link below:
It was crazy but I'm happy that it wasn't a tragic experience!
After that.. i had the worst luck in the world.... the next day.. i was on my computer and I accidently dropped my external hard drive... i really thought that it didn't fall that hard and that my stuff had broken its fall...no such luck... my External stopped working..and making funky clicking noises.. and that was it.. it was toast.. I was PISSED!!! I decided to let out some frustration and go to the gym.. I worked out for like 2 hours... and tried out a new work out courtesy of Mr. Jay Arr Raymundo (thanks bud).. and it totally kicked my butt... I felt better after the workout..
The Day was nice outside.. so I decided to get a salad at McD's... and then the worst thing that could happen to me was my Jeep Liberty wouldn't run!! WTF!!! I was so mad and frustrated and I literally started crying for the crappy day that I was having. Not only did it suck for my car to stop running.. but I had an Interview the next morning! I got the car Towed... got it sent to Canadian tire..and now waiting to get it back.... yes.. Its Monday.. and it's been there since Last Thursday and I still haven't got my car back!!! The mechanics here SUCK ASS!!! I don't like the idea of how much it's going to cost to get my car back... but i love my car that I jus don't care at this point. I jus want it back!
Friday was a better day! I got the Job and finally thing seemed to be getting better! I was excited and it was good timing because of the cost of my car repairs!
Now the plan (once i get my car back) is to find a new place to live. My apartment now.. is ok.. but could be A LOT better. I'm looking forward to finding a better place. Once that's done... then my world will be where it should be. I can get back to a "normal" life.
I cant wait until JUNE is over!! LOL... it was one month that I'm glad it's almost done! Please let me me have a better month in JULY!! Please!!
NEXT BLOG.... Guy Drama.. stay tuned....
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Define "SINGLE"
According to Dictionary.com the definition of "Single" can be defined as...
(I've only selected a few)
sin·gle /ˈsɪŋgəl/ Show Spelled [sing-guhl] Show IPA adjective, verb,-gled, -gling, noun
–adjective
1. only one in number; one only; unique;
2. unmarried
Noun
3. one person or thing; a single one.
Now having defined the word... everyone would see me and the 2nd definition to go hand in hand... Yes, it's true.. I'm unmarried but after having such a dramatic outlook of the word "Single".. personally, the first definition would best suite me. I am only one in number and unique.
Single to me, used to mean that I was alone. That I didn't have anyone to share my life with... now it no longer means that I am alone... the reality of it all is that I'm not truly alone. I'm surrounded by loving friends and family... who have shared my life with me and God watching over me.
For Generations, life was defined as going through certain stages.. going to school, graduating highschool/post secondary school, then finding a job, getting married, having kids, buying a house, and retiring. Life these days sometimes doesn't go in that order anymore but it's expected of us. When we go out of order or we live life unconventionally, people may judge and feel like this life is wrong. Who's to say what the right way to live life??
My greatest fear was to be alone. I know now, that I'll never be alone. I learned that the hard way.
Being "single" as defined as not being in a romantic relationship does not bother me anymore. I always thought being alone was a curse, but on the contrary, it was a blessing. I've learned to depend on myself, be independant, be more focus on the needs and wants for myself and not have it decided for me. My life is what it is and its under no one else's terms but my own.
I have a plan and yes it's unconventional, but it's MY life! I already know what I want and how to get it. I fully understand what to do with my life and how to live it.
If someone asks me if I'm single.. I'll proudly say "I am"... I'm ONLY one .. One in a Million.... and that's all it'll ever mean to me.
(I've only selected a few)
sin·gle /ˈsɪŋgəl/ Show Spelled [sing-guhl] Show IPA adjective, verb,-gled, -gling, noun
–adjective
1. only one in number; one only; unique;
2. unmarried
Noun
3. one person or thing; a single one.
Now having defined the word... everyone would see me and the 2nd definition to go hand in hand... Yes, it's true.. I'm unmarried but after having such a dramatic outlook of the word "Single".. personally, the first definition would best suite me. I am only one in number and unique.
Single to me, used to mean that I was alone. That I didn't have anyone to share my life with... now it no longer means that I am alone... the reality of it all is that I'm not truly alone. I'm surrounded by loving friends and family... who have shared my life with me and God watching over me.
For Generations, life was defined as going through certain stages.. going to school, graduating highschool/post secondary school, then finding a job, getting married, having kids, buying a house, and retiring. Life these days sometimes doesn't go in that order anymore but it's expected of us. When we go out of order or we live life unconventionally, people may judge and feel like this life is wrong. Who's to say what the right way to live life??
My greatest fear was to be alone. I know now, that I'll never be alone. I learned that the hard way.
Being "single" as defined as not being in a romantic relationship does not bother me anymore. I always thought being alone was a curse, but on the contrary, it was a blessing. I've learned to depend on myself, be independant, be more focus on the needs and wants for myself and not have it decided for me. My life is what it is and its under no one else's terms but my own.
I have a plan and yes it's unconventional, but it's MY life! I already know what I want and how to get it. I fully understand what to do with my life and how to live it.
If someone asks me if I'm single.. I'll proudly say "I am"... I'm ONLY one .. One in a Million.... and that's all it'll ever mean to me.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
It's been about 3 weeks.....
It's been about 3 weeks since I left my beloved home and ventured off to Toronto!
It all started on May 3rd...the sun wasn't up yet... woke up at 3... got things together.. and the hard part of saying good-bye to my parents... It's a good thing that we joke around because if they started to cry, I would've balled!!!
The plan was to leave at 4... of course that didn't happen... after all the hugs and pictures and last minute things to pack... my voiceless friend, April, and I finally left my house around 4:45am... before leaving.. it was only tradition that I go to McDonald's and get myself a Sausage McMuffin for the road!
April and I got to McD's in Southdale at 4:54am... we arrive at the drive through and ordered our breakfast.... the guy inside tells us that they aren't serving breakfast until 5am... like WTF.... it's 6mins to 5am.... they told us to go inside to order... I was not impressed.
We finally got our breakfast and officially left the city a lil after 5AM...
The adventure officially started... the drive was pretty scenic.... I gotta say, it was a nicer drive than going to BC.... Anyways, we told people that we drove straight.. but technically we didn't.. we stopped for gas, to eat, and to take pictures by roadside attractions.. or jus of stuff because we wanted to.. lol
(Pictures to be uploaded soon)
It took us, I should say.. it took ME.. a day and half to actually get to Toronto (actually to Jenalyn's place to pick up my keys). I was exhausted.. we only slept for 4 hours at Sault St. Marie at the Staples Parking lot.. lol... i was pretty impressed with myself that I drove for so long by myself... the longest I had ever driven was to New York for 12 hours last summer..
after having lunch with Jen.... April and I went to my place that's only 3mins drive from Jen's place. The place was alright.. for the amount that I was renting it out for.... It's good for now until I am able to afford something better. But the area is nice and my landlord is pretty cool... i'm not close to the subway.. but it's ok cuz i have my trusty Jeep! Gotta love my Liberty... brings Freedom to a new level!
so to keep from making this a really long blog... the few week to me seemed like I'm on vacation. April, Loina and Lloyd and some Peg City Boys(for a Bachelor party) were here and when I see faces from Winnipeg.. I feel like I haven't quite left Da Peg.. lol... I've tried to email my K-LEM girlz when I can, I've called my parents and my BFF...I've kept myself busy and surrounding myself with familiar things.. like working out, eating foods that I would normally eat at home.
I don't really miss Da Peg all that much... I miss my friends but especially eating lunch with my parents everyday and my purple bedroom. I really miss my house!
I know that I've made this decision to move here and to find opportunities to live the life that I need to experience. I just needed to do this to say that I actually tried.. will I succeed? will I find happiness? will I find all the answers I'm looking for? I can't answer any of these right now... but I know that I'm at a place that I should be right now (I have the deja vu's to prove it.. LOL).
So far so good.. but only 1 major thing to make this a whole lot easier.. and that's a job that I can enjoy.
I've had my stress moments and my frustrations with certain things.. but you gotta "bet your bottom dollar" that I'm not going down without a fight.
So it's late.. I gotta sleep... Good Night.. and tomorrow is always a new day!
It all started on May 3rd...the sun wasn't up yet... woke up at 3... got things together.. and the hard part of saying good-bye to my parents... It's a good thing that we joke around because if they started to cry, I would've balled!!!
The plan was to leave at 4... of course that didn't happen... after all the hugs and pictures and last minute things to pack... my voiceless friend, April, and I finally left my house around 4:45am... before leaving.. it was only tradition that I go to McDonald's and get myself a Sausage McMuffin for the road!
April and I got to McD's in Southdale at 4:54am... we arrive at the drive through and ordered our breakfast.... the guy inside tells us that they aren't serving breakfast until 5am... like WTF.... it's 6mins to 5am.... they told us to go inside to order... I was not impressed.
We finally got our breakfast and officially left the city a lil after 5AM...
The adventure officially started... the drive was pretty scenic.... I gotta say, it was a nicer drive than going to BC.... Anyways, we told people that we drove straight.. but technically we didn't.. we stopped for gas, to eat, and to take pictures by roadside attractions.. or jus of stuff because we wanted to.. lol
(Pictures to be uploaded soon)
It took us, I should say.. it took ME.. a day and half to actually get to Toronto (actually to Jenalyn's place to pick up my keys). I was exhausted.. we only slept for 4 hours at Sault St. Marie at the Staples Parking lot.. lol... i was pretty impressed with myself that I drove for so long by myself... the longest I had ever driven was to New York for 12 hours last summer..
after having lunch with Jen.... April and I went to my place that's only 3mins drive from Jen's place. The place was alright.. for the amount that I was renting it out for.... It's good for now until I am able to afford something better. But the area is nice and my landlord is pretty cool... i'm not close to the subway.. but it's ok cuz i have my trusty Jeep! Gotta love my Liberty... brings Freedom to a new level!
so to keep from making this a really long blog... the few week to me seemed like I'm on vacation. April, Loina and Lloyd and some Peg City Boys(for a Bachelor party) were here and when I see faces from Winnipeg.. I feel like I haven't quite left Da Peg.. lol... I've tried to email my K-LEM girlz when I can, I've called my parents and my BFF...I've kept myself busy and surrounding myself with familiar things.. like working out, eating foods that I would normally eat at home.
I don't really miss Da Peg all that much... I miss my friends but especially eating lunch with my parents everyday and my purple bedroom. I really miss my house!
I know that I've made this decision to move here and to find opportunities to live the life that I need to experience. I just needed to do this to say that I actually tried.. will I succeed? will I find happiness? will I find all the answers I'm looking for? I can't answer any of these right now... but I know that I'm at a place that I should be right now (I have the deja vu's to prove it.. LOL).
So far so good.. but only 1 major thing to make this a whole lot easier.. and that's a job that I can enjoy.
I've had my stress moments and my frustrations with certain things.. but you gotta "bet your bottom dollar" that I'm not going down without a fight.
So it's late.. I gotta sleep... Good Night.. and tomorrow is always a new day!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Almost time....
Wow... I can't believe how fast time flew by this month. I honestly didn't think it would be so hard to say good-bye to people here. I don't know how many tears have fallen and how many laughs that have been shared but I do know how much I love everyone... I'll definately miss my B.F.F , My K-LEM girls, and my Royalz!
The past couple weeks have been the hardest for me. I felt the love from my co-workers of 9years. They are truly like a family to me and I will miss them, especially Dan! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't of lasted so long at Vita. You always made me laugh! You Rock and Thanks again to you and Shannon for the Greatest Gift EVER!!! It's been the one thing that constantly makes me smile! (i'll send pictures soon)
To my K*L*E*M girlz... remember to keep loving every moment... I hate you guys for making me cry so much, but I love you for making me laugh! Trust me, you'll never be replaced.... remember.. i mostly have guy friends out there!! hahaha
I don't know why I'm being so sappy...it's not like I'll never see you guys again. I guess its because its not until someone leaves that you realize how much you've
taken them for granted. I'll admit that I'm guilty of that too!!
But I gotta do what I gotta do, for myself and to prove something to myself. Its all about growing as a person and testing out your own limits.. gotta live life to the fullest.. and life is short. I gotta atleast be able to say that I've tried and did the best of my abilities. If you don't try, you'll never know you're own potential!
I gotta share a poem given to me by Jenalyn. As she has gone through the same as I have... this poem really helps....
There comes a time when you must stand alone.
You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
You must be willing to make sacrifices.
You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.
Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.
I don't know where this Journey will lead me.... but only one way to find out... and if you keep reading my blogs.. you'll experience the whole ride with me!
The past couple weeks have been the hardest for me. I felt the love from my co-workers of 9years. They are truly like a family to me and I will miss them, especially Dan! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't of lasted so long at Vita. You always made me laugh! You Rock and Thanks again to you and Shannon for the Greatest Gift EVER!!! It's been the one thing that constantly makes me smile! (i'll send pictures soon)
To my K*L*E*M girlz... remember to keep loving every moment... I hate you guys for making me cry so much, but I love you for making me laugh! Trust me, you'll never be replaced.... remember.. i mostly have guy friends out there!! hahaha
I don't know why I'm being so sappy...it's not like I'll never see you guys again. I guess its because its not until someone leaves that you realize how much you've
taken them for granted. I'll admit that I'm guilty of that too!!
But I gotta do what I gotta do, for myself and to prove something to myself. Its all about growing as a person and testing out your own limits.. gotta live life to the fullest.. and life is short. I gotta atleast be able to say that I've tried and did the best of my abilities. If you don't try, you'll never know you're own potential!
I gotta share a poem given to me by Jenalyn. As she has gone through the same as I have... this poem really helps....
There comes a time when you must stand alone.
You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
You must be willing to make sacrifices.
You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.
Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.
I don't know where this Journey will lead me.... but only one way to find out... and if you keep reading my blogs.. you'll experience the whole ride with me!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I know they mean well.....
Ok.. where to begin?!?!? All I can say is that I've had my fair share of being patient with people but sometimes you just want to blow up in their faces and say "SHUT THE HELL UP! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING"!!! (Sorry for that.. I just had to get it off my chest.)
What am I talking about here?!?? I'm talking about people that find out about my decision and they offer their advice of what I should and shouldn't do. As the title of this blog reads... "I know they mean well"..... but sometimes I wish I get more "I'm excited for you and I know you will do well".. instead of telling me what to do like I'm a child!
I get disappointed with certain friends that even jokingly makes me feel bad for leaving. Ya, I get that it sucks that I won't see my friends on a regular basis anymore... but it's not like they'll never see me again. I will keep in touch!
Is it too hard to ask for a lil support and make this decision a lil less painful. Yes, I'm excited to leave and to start a fresh start and a new adventure... But that doesn't mean I'm not sad that I'm leaving my Parents that I love with all my being... that I'm not sad for leaving the best friends a person could ever ask for...that i'm not sad for leaving the only home I've ever known.... I may not put my true feelings out there for all to see.. but trust me, I feel all emotions.. sadness, fear, excitement, anxiety and more!
All I'm asking is to make this easy for me.. in my head, my heart, I know that this is the best for me for RIGHT NOW. I can't predict what the future has in store for me, but I can't just wait for it to happen anymore... i have to take action and take control of MY LIFE.
Again.... I'm sorry.. I tend to ramble on and on... I'm not directly aiming this blog to anyone... it's jus a tool for venting for all to see. You'll get to see the good, the bad and the ugly through this blog...
With that said.. i will sign off here... I'm a lil less annoyed and a lot more exhausted. Good Night and Tomorrow is another day....
What am I talking about here?!?? I'm talking about people that find out about my decision and they offer their advice of what I should and shouldn't do. As the title of this blog reads... "I know they mean well"..... but sometimes I wish I get more "I'm excited for you and I know you will do well".. instead of telling me what to do like I'm a child!
I get disappointed with certain friends that even jokingly makes me feel bad for leaving. Ya, I get that it sucks that I won't see my friends on a regular basis anymore... but it's not like they'll never see me again. I will keep in touch!
Is it too hard to ask for a lil support and make this decision a lil less painful. Yes, I'm excited to leave and to start a fresh start and a new adventure... But that doesn't mean I'm not sad that I'm leaving my Parents that I love with all my being... that I'm not sad for leaving the best friends a person could ever ask for...that i'm not sad for leaving the only home I've ever known.... I may not put my true feelings out there for all to see.. but trust me, I feel all emotions.. sadness, fear, excitement, anxiety and more!
All I'm asking is to make this easy for me.. in my head, my heart, I know that this is the best for me for RIGHT NOW. I can't predict what the future has in store for me, but I can't just wait for it to happen anymore... i have to take action and take control of MY LIFE.
Again.... I'm sorry.. I tend to ramble on and on... I'm not directly aiming this blog to anyone... it's jus a tool for venting for all to see. You'll get to see the good, the bad and the ugly through this blog...
With that said.. i will sign off here... I'm a lil less annoyed and a lot more exhausted. Good Night and Tomorrow is another day....
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Jus so you know....
So I realized after I posted my first blog entry that I jus dove into the world of blogging and not really explaining why I wanted to start one up.... The main reason I wanted to start a blog was for people to read about my upcoming adventure living in Toronto.
I honestly can't wait. I had wanted to move here when I was much younger and I know now that it would have been a huge mistake. I wasn't nearly as prepared as I am now. I've saved enough to get by until I'm settled down, I have a place to live (yes, on my own) but not too far from my dear friend and fellow "Royal", Jenalyn. It's gonna be great and I'm sure it'll be tough but it'll just make me stronger as a person.
I am surprised by the lack of support I am getting from some people. Atleast that's what it feels like. Some people have been great and happy for me and other people are like "Why the hell are you going? Are you stupid?" ... ok.. that's not a direct quote from anyone but they might as well have said it. The vibe that I'm getting from some people is that they don't believe I can make it there.. or "ready". If they knew me, they would know that I'm the type of person that thoroughly thinks things through and plans things out. I have backup plans to my backup plans. Financially, I believe I've saved enough money. I've been pretty good with budgeting and my finance after being debtless for over a year.
People think I'll be gone forever...I'm not dying people!! LOL... I've never ever told people that I'm gone for good... I don't know what will become of me in the future. If it doesn't work out, my home will always be Peg City. The point of this move is not because I hate the city (not like most Peg City sellouts) It's just something I need to do for myself. I need to be more independant, I need to be accountable for all my actions and decisions, I need to be me in a city that won't judge and watch my every actions. This is for me and no other reason. (Sorry, that was just a lil vent session I had to get out... LOL)
OK.. i'm rambling on and my readers have probably fallen asleep.. LOL... so this is it for now... until next time....
Thursday, April 15, 2010
In 19 Dayz......
In 19 Dayz I will be on my way to a different life.
In 19 Dayz, I will feel sad, happy and scared at the same time.
In 19 Dayz, I will be leaving the home I've loved and leaving the people I love the most.
In 19 Dayz, I will be ending a chapter and starting fresh in a new one.
People have asked me "why?" How can I even explain? It's jus something I HAVE to do.
I NEED the change... I need to do this for me. For me it's the right time and I know I will have no regrets. No matter what, this is what's best for me.
If you would've asked me 11 years ago if I would consider leaving this city, I would've said " Hell No". I hated change and I honestly love Peg City. As years past, my life has been the same. Literally, THE SAME. As I watch friends move, settle down, getting married and having children.. it has made me realize that staying here will not get me where I want to be. From once hating change, to NEEDING change... only proves that the older you get... your thoughts and beliefs eventually change to.
In 19 Dayz, I will begin to find my true self.
In 19 Dayz, I will truly be independant.
In 19 Dayz, I will be free from my mistakes, my past, my regrets.
In 19 Dayz............. to be continued.....
In 19 Dayz, I will feel sad, happy and scared at the same time.
In 19 Dayz, I will be leaving the home I've loved and leaving the people I love the most.
In 19 Dayz, I will be ending a chapter and starting fresh in a new one.
People have asked me "why?" How can I even explain? It's jus something I HAVE to do.
I NEED the change... I need to do this for me. For me it's the right time and I know I will have no regrets. No matter what, this is what's best for me.
If you would've asked me 11 years ago if I would consider leaving this city, I would've said " Hell No". I hated change and I honestly love Peg City. As years past, my life has been the same. Literally, THE SAME. As I watch friends move, settle down, getting married and having children.. it has made me realize that staying here will not get me where I want to be. From once hating change, to NEEDING change... only proves that the older you get... your thoughts and beliefs eventually change to.
In 19 Dayz, I will begin to find my true self.
In 19 Dayz, I will truly be independant.
In 19 Dayz, I will be free from my mistakes, my past, my regrets.
In 19 Dayz............. to be continued.....
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