I know they mean well.....

Ok.. where to begin?!?!? All I can say is that I've had my fair share of being patient with people but sometimes you just want to blow up in their faces and say "SHUT THE HELL UP! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING"!!! (Sorry for that.. I just had to get it off my chest.)

What am I talking about here?!?? I'm talking about people that find out about my decision and they offer their advice of what I should and shouldn't do. As the title of this blog reads... "I know they mean well"..... but sometimes I wish I get more "I'm excited for you and I know you will do well".. instead of telling me what to do like I'm a child!

I get disappointed with certain friends that even jokingly makes me feel bad for leaving. Ya, I get that it sucks that I won't see my friends on a regular basis anymore... but it's not like they'll never see me again. I will keep in touch!

Is it too hard to ask for a lil support and make this decision a lil less painful. Yes, I'm excited to leave and to start a fresh start and a new adventure... But that doesn't mean I'm not sad that I'm leaving my Parents that I love with all my being... that I'm not sad for leaving the best friends a person could ever ask for...that i'm not sad for leaving the only home I've ever known.... I may not put my true feelings out there for all to see.. but trust me, I feel all emotions.. sadness, fear, excitement, anxiety and more!

All I'm asking is to make this easy for me.. in my head, my heart, I know that this is the best for me for RIGHT NOW. I can't predict what the future has in store for me, but I can't just wait for it to happen anymore... i have to take action and take control of MY LIFE.

Again.... I'm sorry.. I tend to ramble on and on... I'm not directly aiming this blog to anyone... it's jus a tool for venting for all to see. You'll get to see the good, the bad and the ugly through this blog...

With that said.. i will sign off here... I'm a lil less annoyed and a lot more exhausted. Good Night and Tomorrow is another day....

Jus so you know....

So I realized after I posted my first blog entry that I jus dove into the world of blogging and not really explaining why I wanted to start one up.... The main reason I wanted to start a blog was for people to read about my upcoming adventure living in Toronto.

I honestly can't wait. I had wanted to move here when I was much younger and I know now that it would have been a huge mistake. I wasn't nearly as prepared as I am now. I've saved enough to get by until I'm settled down, I have a place to live (yes, on my own) but not too far from my dear friend and fellow "Royal", Jenalyn. It's gonna be great and I'm sure it'll be tough but it'll just make me stronger as a person.

I am surprised by the lack of support I am getting from some people. Atleast that's what it feels like. Some people have been great and happy for me and other people are like "Why the hell are you going? Are you stupid?" ... ok.. that's not a direct quote from anyone but they might as well have said it. The vibe that I'm getting from some people is that they don't believe I can make it there.. or "ready". If they knew me, they would know that I'm the type of person that thoroughly thinks things through and plans things out. I have backup plans to my backup plans. Financially, I believe I've saved enough money. I've been pretty good with budgeting and my finance after being debtless for over a year.

People think I'll be gone forever...I'm not dying people!! LOL... I've never ever told people that I'm gone for good... I don't know what will become of me in the future. If it doesn't work out, my home will always be Peg City. The point of this move is not because I hate the city (not like most Peg City sellouts) It's just something I need to do for myself. I need to be more independant, I need to be accountable for all my actions and decisions, I need to be me in a city that won't judge and watch my every actions. This is for me and no other reason. (Sorry, that was just a lil vent session I had to get out... LOL)

OK.. i'm rambling on and my readers have probably fallen asleep.. LOL... so this is it for now... until next time....

In 19 Dayz......

In 19 Dayz I will be on my way to a different life.
In 19 Dayz, I will feel sad, happy and scared at the same time.
In 19 Dayz, I will be leaving the home I've loved and leaving the people I love the most.
In 19 Dayz, I will be ending a chapter and starting fresh in a new one.

People have asked me "why?" How can I even explain? It's jus something I HAVE to do.

I NEED the change... I need to do this for me. For me it's the right time and I know I will have no regrets. No matter what, this is what's best for me.

If you would've asked me 11 years ago if I would consider leaving this city, I would've said " Hell No". I hated change and I honestly love Peg City. As years past, my life has been the same. Literally, THE SAME. As I watch friends move, settle down, getting married and having children.. it has made me realize that staying here will not get me where I want to be. From once hating change, to NEEDING change... only proves that the older you get... your thoughts and beliefs eventually change to.

In 19 Dayz, I will begin to find my true self.
In 19 Dayz, I will truly be independant.
In 19 Dayz, I will be free from my mistakes, my past, my regrets.

In 19 Dayz............. to be continued.....